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I check my watch again.
“She’ll be here,” Dad says.
Lately, I go to Annie’s house every Tuesday and Thursday after school. Turns out she plays cards. Maybe I’ll even be able to beat Mabel after a few more lessons.
The floats’ engines start, and the first one pulls out.
She’s not here.
As the second float begins to roll, I tell myself that it’s okay. It doesn’t matter if she rides the family float with us or not. But in the part of my heart that hides stuff, it matters.
I hold my breath and count to twenty.
Thirty.
Sixty.
Then I see her. Annie’s running as fast as she can, parrot earrings dangling in the wind. I reach for her hand and pull her onto the float.
She reaches in her pocket and hands me a dried wildflower. Before I can weave my story, she says, “This flower has powers far greater than even the stone. It transcends time and place. Hold on to it.” Then she leans over and whispers something in my ear.
I smile. “I promise. I will keep it always.” My mood ring turns bright purple. In my hand, the flower feels like a sliver of what was.
I look out into the parade crowd and see Mr. Bearson handing out hot cocoa. He waves as we pass and promises me a hot cocoa with whipped cream and extra marshmallows.
With a stutter and rumble, our float takes off down the street. I’ve got everyone I love around me. My herd has gathered. My family is here.
Some of them are on the float.
And some are watching over me.
By Frankie and Jess
Three witches tell the tale, turn courage to greed.
Ascend, Cawdor then King, oh thee.
It’s yours, Macbeth. The crown, the castle with speed.
The prophecy is meant to be.
Hail Macbeth for bravery, King Duncan cries.
He shall be Thane of Cawdor now.
Prophecy realized, seeds of darkness and lies
Macbeth nor the Lady will bow.
Witches prophecy fuels the greed. Feeds the crazy.
Ends in red and daggers. All hail the king.
King Duncan to Castle Inverness tonight.
Dance, drink, and walk the greedy halls.
The crowned celebrates, wholly blind to the fight.
King’s dead. Murder stains the white walls.
Witches prophecy fuels the greed. Feeds the crazy.
Ends in red and daggers. All hail the king.
Remove the sons, kill the guards, Macbeth is King.
The witches’ prophecy comes true.
Scorched the snake, Banquo must die, Macbeth will sing
Witches assemble, plan anew.
Help is too late. Macbeth’s crazy has grown.
Lady Macbeth is dead.
Woods move in cloak of branches, crown on loan.
Witches prophecy fuels the greed. Feeds the crazy.
Ends in red and daggers. All hail the king.
Macbeth and his Lady now colored in red.
Greed, scorn, and treachery, and hate.
Crown returned and witches’ tale dead.
Story ends, prophecy of fate.
Gail Steketee, PhD, is Dean and Professor at the Boston University School of Social Work. Dr. Steketee has conducted research and taught on cognitive and behavioral treatments for obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and related OC-spectrum disorders, including hoarding disorder. She has been funded by the National Institute of Mental Health and by the International OCD Foundation for her research on OCD and hoarding disorder with her colleagues Dr. Randy Frost at Smith College and Dr. David Tolin at Hartford Hospital. She has published over a dozen books and 200 articles and chapters on these topics. She serves on the scientific advisory board of the International OCD Foundation, is an elected Fellow in the American Academy of Social Work and Social Welfare (AASWSW) and the current president of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (ABCT) for 2016–17.
Steketee, Gail, and Frost, Randy, Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things (Mariner Books, 2011).
Children of Hoarders.
My Mother’s Garden, documentary, Act 1 and Act 2.
At the heart of Frankie’s story is her love of family. That is also at the heart of mine. To me, family is everything. It is where happiness lives, sadness finds shelter, love never ends.
To my husband and my boys. James, you are my life anchor, my best friend, the love of my life. Your unconditional belief in me gives me the courage to always be me. Joshua and Gregory, your love is what fills my heart each and every day. I am so proud, grateful, lucky to be your mom. I love you all. So deeply.
To my dad, Sandy, and Gia, thank you for championing this journey, cheering me on, and loving me throughout. Always.
To my brothers and sisters (I dropped the whole “in-law” thing a long time ago) and nephews and nieces, I love you all more than you know. I am beyond grateful to share all of this with you! Thank you for always being there for me.
To my mom. No words can possibly capture the love and the loss. By the time Frankie finds her way into the world, you will have been gone twenty-two years. Too long to be without each other. But, from that place in me that remains yours forever, thank you for loving me so completely and always watching over me.
To my gram. Your mightiness remains a force that I will always try to live up to. And, Dop, you remain tucked in my heart, always grateful for your strength and love. Take care of each other up there.
As Frankie’s story unfolds, she learns that if you’re lucky, your family has a way of including more than just the people with whom you share a name or a room or a childhood.
So, to my editor, Jenne Abramowitz Vermeulen, thank you for being a part of my writing life and family. From the moment you shared your love of Frankie, her spunkiness, and her dedication to family, I knew that Frankie and Dad and Gram and me had found a home. Thank you for trusting and believing in me and the heart of this story. And to all those at Scholastic who edited, created, read, and helped bring Frankie to life, you have my deepest appreciation. And to Scholastic Clubs and Fairs, thanks for loving my girl, Frankie, from the start.
To my amazing agent and friend, Tricia Lawrence, I’m not sure there are words that capture the fullest extent of my gratitude. You told me I needed to write a new novel, you told me you loved it, and you told me it would find a home. And, it did. Thank you for always pushing me to be the best me and for believing in me no matter what.
To EMLA, I love sharing this road with such talented and wonderful writers. May your words always find their way onto the page.
To my Sweet Sixteens, you guys rock! So grateful our worlds connected. And a special shout-out to one Sweet Sixteen who’s been equal parts champion, secret-keeper, and friend. Thanks, Victoria Coe!
I don’t even want to think where this story would be without the input and guidance of Katrina Knudson, Sarah Azibo, Sarah Aronson, Joan Siff, Rena Pitasky, and Reesa Fischer. Thank you for reading early drafts, sharing your wisdom, and never letting me or the story go astray.
To my girlfriends, you are always in my heart. Thank you for being there to celebrate and encourage, to love and support. How lucky I am to have you in my life.
To Sophie McKibben, a huge thank-you for happily reading my story, loving Frankie, and sharing your Vermont wisdom. From maple syrup to blueberries on the trail to public transportation. Thank you for all of it! And to Joshua and Sophie, hugs and thanks for naming my girl Frankie!
Gail Steketee, I am grateful for your input and guidance on adult hoarding. Your information enabled Gram’s situation and condition to unfold and feel authentic. I so appreciate the time taken to educate me, guide me, and read my story.
Linda Kay, I owe all my knowledge about promissory notes to you. So a hearty thank-you. And while the bank in the story is less than lovely, you and your bank are awesome!
To Jen, thanks for the Taco tales, and Raquel, who fixed up her grandmother
on a dating site, thank you for sharing your story. That was the spark Frankie needed to spring to life.
I close with a special thanks to all the educators who have so graciously and warmly welcomed me into their hearts and their amazing community. Thank you for taking me in. For loving Finding Perfect. For believing in me. I hope you love Frankie. I like to think that she and Molly would be friends.
Grateful and honored,
Elly
Elly Swartz is the author of Finding Perfect. She loves hiking, Twizzlers, writing for kids, and anything with her family. Shortly after writing a few chapters of her first book, she found inspiration in the most unexpected place. She opened her Bazooka Joe bubble gum fortune and it read, “You have the ability to become outstanding in literature.” That fortune remains tacked to the bulletin board next to her desk. Elly is a graduate of Boston University and the Georgetown University Law Center. She lives in the Boston area, is happily married with two grown sons and a beagle named Lucy. You can find out more about her at ellyswartz.com.
Copyright © 2018 by Elly Swartz
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First edition, February 2018
Jacket design by Nina Goffi
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e-ISBN 978-1-338-14358-4
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